Displacement

Displacement.

This word has been in the back of my head ever since we moved the first time.

Displacement. The dictionary definition of the word is “The moving of something from its place or position.”

As a military spouse, you kind of feel displaced for awhile. At least I did. And its a weird feeling.

The first time we moved away I left kicking and screaming. But after some time it got better. I met people, found my way around, and felt more comfortable. But at the same time I felt displaced.

After the second time we moved I also felt (and feel) displaced. I thought to myself, “I’ve already been through this, and this time was a breeze. So.. why do I still feel displaced?”

Now I don’t have a solid answer to the question, but here are some of my thoughts.

1. This place isn’t home yet. (Virginia didn’t really feel like home either but, the displaced feeling went away for awhile.) This place is still new and we have just started into our own pattern, even though we have already been here 6 weeks or so. So, I guess once things start to really settle down and life gets a little busier naturally, maybe it’ll feel a little closer to home.
2. I miss my family more after this move. Not sure why, but I definitely long for some good family time. I wouldn’t say that I am homesick, but for some reason or another I feel farther away from my family and friends this time.
3. Going back to a home that has changed. Going back to the Midwest used to sound like one of the best trips ever. Now, it doesn’t sound as appealing. Don’t get me wrong I still would take the chance to go back there any moment. But going back doesn’t mean that everything will be the same as when we left. My family will still be there, the church, and the places, but things will have changed.  People will be busier, not all of our friends will still be there, it’ll be different. And the more time goes on, the more “home” will be different.

I still ask myself sometimes, “will I really find my niche or purpose here?” because I still feel like that from last time.

I know all of these are not new feelings, but it isn’t necessarily fun to go through them again. Its kind of like going through the 5 stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

For any military wives out there and especially ones that have just moved (again), you are not alone with whatever crazy feelings you are having. I’m with you there too.

Thanks for reading

~Erin