Week three. I am still, blown away at the amount of people that have been encouraged by these posts.
How am I doing?
Good! A little better each day. The anxious brain has kind of been sitting at the back of my mind for a few months. I wake up and think, “Is today going to be a good day? Will I have anxiety today? What will throw it?”
But, that back thought is slowly going away. And each day is like a breath of fresh air. I still get a little anxious every once in awhile, but only for a very short amount of time and its almost nothing compared to what it used to be.
I had my six week follow up with the doctor last week and all is good! We talked about how to handle this in the future, finding a therapist in the new state, and keeping with the medication till I feel like I can really handle all of life’s turns and twists.
It was a really encouraging day, going to the doctor. When I first went to the doctor seven weeks ago I felt terrible. So sick, so anxious, depressed, weak, scared. It was possibly one of the worst days I have ever had. And I thought to myself “What is my life going to look like in six weeks? Is it really going to get better? Can I really overcome this? Or is there really something deeper wrong with me?”
Well, that day has come and gone and things really are so much better. I am honestly SO HAPPY that things are getting back to normal.
However, I do notice some things that throw my thoughts off track. Like, for some odd reason, getting ready for something. Doing your hair, full make up, getting dressed up, makes me anxious… I think because I have had an anxiety attack while getting ready for things in the past few months. Because of that certain situation, even though nothing about it makes me nervous, sends some sort of signal to my brain that there is danger and I start to feel panicky when I’m putting on makeup.
Every morning, I wash my face (making a new habit) which tells me that its time to start the day. I then proceed with my skin care routine; serums, moisturizer, sunscreen, and makeup. Which then in turn also makes me feel like I am going to have a really productive day. And it totally works!
Every day that I wash my face and start with that routine it’s like this mode turns on in my brain and it says “lets get to work!”. It’s helping to override that “danger” signal and removing the anxious thoughts for this activity.
Can we say improvements? Yes we can!
There is something big on the horizon too. Moving! Again! Right now I can say that without getting anxious. But the moment I let myself freak out about all of the stress, I can very easily spiral. So I am focusing on the good parts of it.
Road tripping to fun places across the country, visiting friends in Pensacola, camping, seeing different parts of the country, eating out, and arriving at our new “home”.
I am praying that next week is a good week again. And really that all the days following this are good! I know they wont always be, but I have hope that I can handle them, even when they suck.
If you’re feeling anxious or depressed today, I hope and pray you can find a way to feel at peace and feel the Joy in your life.
“Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.”Psalms 90:14 NIV
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Thanks for reading,
~Erin, The Short Wife
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